30 Aug What Matters Most: The Key to Personal Growth & Development
Back in 2012 I wrote a post, one of my very first in fact, titled “What Matters Most?” I was on vacation with my family in California and it had gotten me thinking about all I was doing at the time to try and get my first book published. It’s quite a task publishing a book, and not only the writing and editing and preparing the book for publishing parts. I suddenly had to have an “author platform,” be active on social media (I had 33 Facebook friends before I began), and yes, start a website and blog (which was totally foreign to me at the time)! It was all new to me, and took a lot of my time, and it got me wondering, “Am I focusing my time on the things that matter most to me right now?”
Give yourself time, and space, to figure out “What matters most” to you.
Personal Growth & Development: The #1 Starting Question
When it comes to personal growth and development, there is one most important “starting point” I have discovered, and it is this: “What matters most to you at this point in your life?”
Do you know? Do you remember on a daily basis? Or do you forget a little too easily? If someone were to ask you right now, “What are your top three ‘things’ that matter most in life?” could you answer quickly and easily?
A few years ago, I realized I couldn’t. I wasn’t totally sure what my top three or five were, and that meant I wasn’t totally sure exactly what I was striving for. Did it match up with my true goals and dreams and desires? I decided to find out.
Since that day, I have kept the things that matter most at the forefront of everything I do: from work to family decisions, from how I choose to spend my time to what I feel is “worth” my effort.
Until we discover, uncover, or recover what matters most, until we know it inside and out and ensure we don’t forget it in the day-to-day, we will be off track most of the time. Because if you don’t know where you’re trying to go, how can you actually get there?
These people right here are my top, only second to my faith and connection with God. And that even took a long time to realize–that if I’m not strong and firm, then I can’t be there for my family, and contribute in the ways I am meant to do!
How to Know What Matters Most to YOU
How can you discover what matters most to you, if you’re a little unsure?
I am sharing the method I used to help me uncover what matters most to me, the method that helps me still today to keep my focus where I truly want it and never miss out on the most important things. I hope it’s as successful for you as it has been for me!
1) Set aside some quiet time, grab a notebook, and ask yourself: What matters to me? In general? At this specific point in my life? For my family and relationships? For my personal and spiritual development? In my work and time? What values and principles lead and guide my life or do I appreciate the most? What people do I value most? What experiences? Write down everything that is important to you.
2) Next, ask yourself: “Who do I desire to become?” Envision your best future self. What would you look like, sound like, act like? How would you spend your time, money, energy? What would that future you value most?
3) Group like items together: Write down all the things that you identified from questions 1 & 2 on a piece of paper. Then, look at the paper and begin to group like things together. For example, if you wrote down “caring for my children,” “spending time with my spouse,” and “traveling with my family” then you would just group these together with a title of your choosing, like, “Family.” You should be able to narrow down most of your lists into 5-10 main groups.
4) Rank them: Finally, once you have your groups of “what matters most,” write them down in one list and begin to rank them. What would you rank #1 in your life? Family? Faith? Work? What would be #2? #3? And so on? It can be tough to rank the most important things, but if you want to have a clear path of personal growth and development that is totally in line with what you value most, then then this is a crucial activity to do.
5) What are your top 3-5? Select the top three, four or five from your ranking list and write them down somewhere you’ll remember them daily. Perhaps you set a reminder on your phone with them. Perhaps you write them on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror. Whatever you can do to keep them at the forefront of your mind, do that.
Personal Growth & Development through What Matters Most
Once you’ve done the five steps above, there is one final, essential step if you really want to ensure your time, energy, experiences, and life are leading you on the path of personal growth and development in the ways that matter most to you.
6) Compare each of your activities and opportunities with your Top 3-5: Yes! Every time an opportunity presents itself, compare it with your top 3-5. Ask, “Is this in alignment with what matters most to me?” For example, my top three are 1) Faith and my personal development and relationship with God, 2) Family, and my relationships with my kids and husband, and 3) Contribution, making a meaningful difference and serving gladly each day. If I get offered a speaking opportunity that takes me out of town, I compare it with these three to see if it’s worth it or not. If I want to write a new book or take on more clients, I stop and compare these opportunities and activities with my top 3. It even works for fun and free time. If I want to do nothing for a day and just “veg,” I compare it to my top three (and sometimes the answer is “Yes! For my faith and family and contributions to be strengthened, I need a day off!”).
See what a difference knowing “what matters most” can make?!
One last tip: Make sure the list you make is of what matters MOST. There are plenty of good things to do in the world, but don’t settle for good or even better when you can seek for and spend your limited time on the best.
Spend Your Life Wisely, & Richly
Time is the currency of life; slow down and ensure you’re spending it wisely. Discover what really matters to you and your life will not only be spent wisely, it will be spent richly.
Which reminds me, I need to go now and do what matters most to me: today it’s caring for my sick daughter, finishing a presentation on suicide prevention, and getting my “Motherhood “podcast ready for a brand new season!
What matters most to you? What are your tips for remembering to focus on those things? Leave a comment and we can help each other spend our time richly!