How to Honor Cancer Warriors, National Cancer Survivors Day & Everyday

07 Jun How to Honor Cancer Warriors, National Cancer Survivors Day & Everyday

Posted at 14:23h in Breast Cancer by Dr. Christina Hibbert 0 Comments

"Survive." That word seems so serious, so epic, so final.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer on July 15, 2019. I haven’t liked using the term “Breast Cancer Survivor” for exactly the reasons above: it feels so serious, so epic, so final.

At first, it felt like more than what I was doing.

I wasn’t surviving was I? I was just treating the cancer, and then healing.

But soon, “surviving” started to feel like much less than I was doing.

I was surviving breast cancer—in my case, triple negative breast cancer, the most aggressive and likely to metastasize—yes. But I was doing so much more.

Battling through chemotherapy and cold-capping to save my hair, it seemed easier to wear a cape, to feel strong like Wonder Woman. In truth, chemotherapy completely breaks you down to nothing. It's the toughest thing I've ever done.

I was showing up every day, no matter how much pain or illness or fear that day might bring. I was battling through continual surgeries and chemotherapy, and then through complications from surgeries, infections, and the mental and emotional toll this all was taking not only on me but on my children, my husband, my life. I was warring with not only “cancer,” but even more so, its treatments; the very things meant to enable me to “survive” had to first rip me to shreds.

One week after diagnosis, I underwent a double mastectomy. Here, I am finally sleeping just after the biggest surgery of my life. Can you see my furrowed brow?

No, I wasn’t simply surviving (implying a passive waiting to see if I might live); I was fighting, day in and day out, in a multitude of ways—physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually and socially. I didn’t want to just “survive.” I wanted to “thrive.” I was a warrior. I am a warrior.

Today is Cancer Survivor’s Day...

...a day set aside to honor the many who have fought these battles and survived.

What about the many who have fought just as valiantly but have not survived?

Those like my 6 year-old sister, McLean, who was the bravest warrior I’ve ever known but still died of kidney cancer at age 8?

Or my dear friend Minae, who lived a healthy life but whose body was still ravaged by pancreatic cancer, who fought harder than I could even imagine and still didn’t survive? Who died just one year before I too was diagnosed?

Did they “lose” their battles with cancer? No. I can’t see how anyone who wars so fiercely could ever “lose.”

But they were taken. Taken in the midst of the wars.

They were true warriors.

With my dear friend, Minae, just after her son left for his mission, just weeks before she died. One of the most courageous things I've ever witnessed.

So let’s honor those who have survived...

Yes. Today, and every day.

And let’s honor those who have gone on to thrive after, or despite, cancer. I’m surviving, and working on thriving, but I have a long way to go.

And, let’s honor all cancer warriors—those who show up each day, each moment, and fight the fight, honor the struggle. Those who never give up. Those who accept what is while working toward the possibility of what might be. Those who are letting cancer change them for the better and not for the bitter.

How can we honor cancer survivors, thrivers, and warriors?

Listen & hear when they speak
See & notice when they fight
Learn about their experiences
Honor where they are
Show up for them, just like they show up in battle every day
Reach out in love and compassion
Ask “How are you today or right now?”
Sit with them
Go to treatment with them
Send a text, card, flowers, or gift to let them know you care and are fighting with them
Be with them in the struggle
Let them tell you what it really feels like, what’s hardest, what the struggle truly is
Let them cry
Let them express fear
Let them feel angry
Let them share gratitude
Tell them they don’t have to “be positive,” that they can be real
Fight with them
Not just today, but continually

Our 8th attempt to get a good vein for chemo, Dec 2019. Trust me, I understand health-related fear, anxiety, & being stuck at home trying to still be "mom."

Fight with them...

Whether physically by their side, far away through text, calls, or video chats, or in any other way, fight with them.

Stick with them through the fight. Cheer them on, encourage their progress, empathize with their hardships, stay with them through the battles and through the war.

Honor their warrior spirit. Honor their survival. Then, for those who are fortunate to not be taken, watch them live again and thrive.

To all cancer survivors, warriors, and thrivers...

I honor you. I am with you. It is the greatest honor of my life to call myself your warrior sister.