07 Jun Summer Sanity for Moms: 10 Ways to Stress Less & Flourish More!
It’s that time again–summer break! All kids are cheering, and many moms are panicking! “What will we do with them all summer?” “How can we prevent the ‘I’m bored’s?” And how do we keep our own personal growth and development going, and our children’s, even while our kids and teens are striving to be in full blown vacation mode?
I’ve had 21 summers as a mom, so far, and let me just say, “I get it!” When my kids were all little, after surviving May-hem, I would literally panic the last day of school, thinking, “How did the school year end already?! I somehow missed it!” I’d then scramble to figure out some kind of plan–not only to keep them occupied and entertained and save our pour house from ruin, but most especially to keep my sanity from ruin. It can be a long two or three months if you don’t have any time for you, and especially if your children have nothing productive or valuable to work on either.
Over the years, summers have changed somewhat as my kids have grown older and can help drive and care for each other, but it’s still a huge shift for we moms. I tried to explain it to my husband once: “Your schedule is always the same, year-round. But mine shifts drastically when school ends and again when school begins. I suddenly am scrambling to reconfigure my life around the kids’ shifting schedules.” After 21 years of this speech, I’m pretty sure he gets it now, but the struggle is real, moms! It’s real! And you are not alone!
So, what can we do when summer rolls around again?
I’ve identified 10 ways we can take charge this summer for not only our summer sanity, but for summer growth and memories and flourishing for the entire family.
Listen to or watch “8 Steps to Mom Summer Sanity” on Motherhood Radio/TV, for the full story, and read on, below!
Listen to Motherhood podcast here!
10 Ways to Stress Less & Flourish More This Summer
1) Evaluate where you are. What do you currently need–emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, in your personal life and in your work? What do you hope to accomplish this summer? What do you hope to feel? Be honest with yourself and see where you are.
2) Evaluate summer expectations. What do you expect from your kids this summer? From yourself? Then, ask yourself, “What is realistic?” Compare expectations to the reality and when they don’t match up, either change the expectation or change the reality.
My daughter and me, walking along the beach. It’s moments like this that remind us, “You’re doing better than you think you are.”
3) Establish summer rules. Kids need some structure to thrive, and so do we. Set up a few simple rules to make summer life more manageable, based on your current needs, goals, and expectations. For example, summer “kitchen hours” or “chauffeur hours” are a great idea (listen to the radio/TV episode for more info.), as are rules for chores, “online” time, snacking, friends, and anything else that can help make your home, family, and time a little more focused and in line with what you desire.
4) Set up “Summer Goals.” This is the BEST thing I’ve ever done in the summer with my kids, because it keeps them working on themselves all summer long and inspires me to do the same. Listen in to the Motherhood Episode, above, for details on how we do this in our home, or create your own method. Keep learning and growing all summer long and avoid boredom by focusing on summer self-improvement (Read this post for more ideas on what you can do, too)!
5) Don’t over- or under-do summer scheduling. Yes, we want some structure, but too much is still too much. Summer should include time for rest, play, and fun, too. But too much rest, play, and fun is too much, too! Seek a balance in your summer rules and scheduling. Plan activities that are good for your kids and for you, but don’t feel like every moment needs to be planned and scheduled. Let yourself enjoy summer and go with the flow a little bit, too.
6) Plan activities that YOU enjoy with your kids. If you hate going to the park but love the library, then take the kids to the library often and to the park only occasionally. While it’s great to do the activities our kids enjoy, I’ve learned that kids also tend to enjoy the things we enjoy doing, if we do them together. Select activities that both of you can enjoy to put a little more fun into your summer plans.
Hiking at Lake Powell. Beautiful, and fun for the whole family!
7) Ask for help (and let it in)! A few months is a LONG time to be “on” as a mom, and you deserve a break during summer, too! Get creative in how to let some help in this summer. Do a “kid swap” with a friend once or twice a week, hire a teenager looking to earn money to come babysit for a few hours so you can relax or do something just for you, and absolutely enlist your older children! Even young “older siblings” can be great helpers, especially when you help them feel pride in being responsible and being a helper. Older children can drive, clean, and watch younger kids, and it’s a great chance for sibling bonding, too!
8) Set up a daily “quiet hour.” We’ve done this for years, and it is life-saving for me! I need, I crave quiet time, so each day I set aside at least one hour when everyone else has to be quiet, too. It used to coincide with the baby’s nap, but now it coincides with my nap! Let the kids read, play quietly in their room, watch a movie, or listen to music while everyone reaps the benefits of a little quiet time.
9) Be flexible! This is a must in the summer and, let’s face it, all the time when you’re “Mom.” As much as we try to set things up for success, just know that with kids, there will always be last minute changes and upsets. If we go into each day feeling flexible, and ready to let go of what doesn’t go our way, we will be so much happier, and so will they!
10) Don’t give up! I can’t tell you how many summers I’ve thrown in the towel and said, “I’m just going with the flow,” reading, lounging, and being at the kids’ beck and call. Then, I feel like I’ve wasted weeks because I wasn’t being productive in my work or personal goals. It’s one thing to choose to relax, and when you do so that is “productive.” But giving up is a whole different game. Remember how important you are as a mom, take care of your needs because I promise you will have so much more to give if you do. Stay the course this summer, and you’ll not only survive; you, and your family will flourish!
Bonus: Listen to my old episode, “Mom Summer Survival” on “Motherhood”–WebTalkRadio