02 Apr Women’s Emotions: Introduction
Introduction to Women’s Emotions:
What All Women (and the Men Who Love Them) Need to Know and Were Never Taught
Women’s emotions have been the butt of jokes for ages. From PMS to Pregnancy to Menopause, we women have gotten a bad rap for our hormone-related changes in moods. But let’s face it—there is some truth to all those jokes. Yes, it’s not easy being an emotional woman. It’s also not always easy being one of the men who love us!
Being a woman with changing emotions, I have spent my career studying these changes, trying to understand them, and teach them to others (especially my husband). And one thing I’ve come to see is that we women were never taught the basic principles of how our emotions work, and the men in our lives were taught even less! I’ve spent the past few years educating groups of women of all ages, from teens to beyond menopause, and the one thing I hear over and over is, “Why didn’t anyone teach me this?!” I’ve also taught groups of fathers, partners and husbands who want to understand the women in their lives. And their response? “Wow. There’s a reason for the emotions! I never knew!”
Now, I realize not all women have swiftly changing emotions, but for the millions of us who do I have some basic principles that can make a huge impact on your life and relationships. I am therefore introducing my new blog series: Women’s Emotions. Each week we will explore a different aspect of women’s emotions—how our emotions are created, the role of hormones in emotions, the role of the brain, what activities impact our emotions, and what we can do to improve emotional health. We will also look at emotional health at all ages and stages of the female life and I will give specific tips for men to help them understand women’s emotions too!
I hope you’re as excited as I am to take this journey into the heretofore unknown world of women’s emotions. You will see: the female brain and body are an incredible team built for connection and filled with wisdom for all ages. Here’s to women’s emotions!
I’m excited to take this journey with you. I’m already experiencing the hormonal issue..lots of fun (ha..ha..). I’m anxious to read “your research” of what I can do to feel more normal and relaxed, not just for myself but, for my husband also. Poor Craig….I’m so thankful he has had the patience to deal with me. Thank you Christy!
Thank you Tammy! Hopefully this will help you AND Craig. We do love our husbands and appreciate all they put up with too, don’t we?
[…] you haven’t had a chance to read the Introduction and Part 1 yet, you may choose to do so, because today we will be building upon the basics […]
[…] Cycle and Mood? Do you have any questions you’d like to see answered in a future post for the Women’s Emotions series? Connect with me by leaving a comment below! Then, join us for more of the Women’s […]
There are two very extreme appearances of women’s emotion in my life which have a lot of things in common. Both cases took place in a pre-relationship phase and startet with a very strong emotional engagement of the involved women. Because of different reasons the possibly assumed anticipation resulting from those emotions couldn’t be fulfilled within a clear time. Then the emotions turned into it’s contrary with an intensity that seemed to be a kind of hate. The women became unreachable in any imagineable way. Nevertheless signs could be recognized that “should” let me “dream” that the contrary of the contrary exits. It seems that the former emotions still exist but are closed behind a door with a doorplate holding the word “hate” engraved.
When I try to analyse these cases I find one thing in common: First, maybe the women published their anticipation within their inner social circles and then couldn’t deliver results. The elapsing time caused more pressure towards me. My reaction was wrong because of misunderstanding whats going on. And as the result of a kind of chain reaction the above described freeze took place.
Do you have any comments to this story?
What happens next after closing the hate-door?
What can a man do to solve such a situation?
Thank you for your comment, Kurt. You’re right–women’s emotions can be especially difficult for the men in their lives and can impact relationships. I actually speak to men’s groups and couples on this topic often to help men understand their partner’s emotions a little better too (or their daughters’ emotions!).
While I can’t say much about your specific situation, I can say that some women are affected enough by their hormones that they become very angry, even rage-filled. However, personality also may account for these types of emotions in women, as well as other factors like lack of sleep, life experiences and trauma, or it may be a result of relationship stress and quarrels.
If you believe a woman you care about may be experiencing shifts in her personality or mood related to hormone changes, it might help to learn all you can and help her learn and understand her emotions too. Books like “Women’s Moods” can help her learn about her body and brain and you too. Compassion is a great tool for men to use–helping her see that you care, that you want to help, that you are trying to understand, is an important first step.
Thank you for your helpful answer. I tried to order “Women’s Moods” from amazon but i couldn’t find it. Do you know where i can order this book?
Here is the link to “Women’s Moods” on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Womens-Moods-Hormones-Emotional-Health/dp/0380728524. It’s also on Barnes & Noble, I noticed. Hope it helps!
Thank you. Your link to amazon worked. I’ve ordered.
HI Dr Hibbert,
I have emotional breakdowns almost monthly and they may be related to my mentral cylce, it seems to happen the week beforehand. I start crying in an instant and become physically debilitated and can’t stop all day, no matter where I am, it’s so embarrassing! I’m 37, I want to have kids at some point, is there something I can take in the later part of my cycle that will help with regulating the hormonal imbalances, either naturopathic or medical? Thanks!
Hello Jen. It sounds like you, like so many women, may be experiencing either significant PMS or Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). Yes, many women find relief by taking an antidepressant or other medication during the last two weeks of their cycle. It can be tricky to figure out, and I am not a medical doctor nor a prescriber, so I recommend finding a doctor who is familiar with PMS & PMDD who can help you figure out if this treatment is right for you. (Side note: Naturopathic remedies can also help, but just because they are “herbal” doesn’t mean they’re not powerful, so it’s still best to speak with a medical provider or naturopath to discuss all your options). Hope that helps. Good luck!
We need help, my girlfriend is 51 years young, she still gets her period. Every month like clockwork something happens to her mentally, she breaks up with me every month 10-14 days after her period ends,,,then few days later she realizes she loves me and wants to spend the rest of our lives together. Every month it’s a different reason. Once because she thinks she will never meet my daughters, once because she thought I would never move there, once after we got back from Hilton Head Island, the most amazing week of vacation together, she ends our relation.. Then she comes back all is well until the next cycle, the newest reason, she doesn’t love me and doesn’t want to get married,,, which was her idea. ,,oh did I mention, she took me to the jewelry store and she picked out an engagement ring..then 14 days later…kicked me to the curb….please help us she / we know something is wrong but don’t know where to turn..