11 Oct Parenting Skills: “My Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!” 10 Ideas to Drive Us Back to Sane
Yes, my sons were making dorky faces on purpose, ruining an otherwise cute pic, but I still love these crazy kids. They sure do help me grow.
A little too often, I get to this point where I feel like I’m in the back of a beat-up pick-up truck, hanging on for dear life as it drives perilously along winding cliff’s edges, the sounds of laughter and snickering mocking me from inside the cab. And who is inside that cab, driving the truck? My kids! (And sometimes my husband too). I know, this may sound a little extreme, but it’s how I feel a lot of the time—like my kids are driving me crazy! (Some weeks, in fact, I could swear they’ve taken a secret oath to push me all the way off the cliff, or make me so insane that I choose to just jump myself!)
So, may I just “vent” for a moment?
Besides the usual “sibling arguments,” “lack of doing zones (chores),” “ignorance of bedtimes,” and “morning grumpiness,” here are 5 categories (even when venting I prefer to be organized!) of things my kids have done lately that have been pushing me closer to the edge of crazy!:
1) “I just forgot…”:
“…that I had a major science project due today.”
“…that I was supposed to pick up my little sister and drive her home from school.”
“…that I was supposed to call you when I got to my friend’s house.”
“…to come home after school, to do my homework, to bring my homework to school, to bring my lunch to school, to wake up for school!” You get the drift.
2) “Whoops!…”:
“…I dumped a bottle of glitter on the floor and ‘just forgot’ to clean it up!”
“…I wrote with red marker on the newly-painted front of the house, oh, and on our friend’s car too!”
“…I just gave my brother a swirly!”
“…I spilled ‘Yoo-Hoo’ on the carpet (and ‘I just forgot’ about the rule of no food out of the kitchen!)”
“…the computer just magically stopped working while I happened to be downloading YouTube videos!”
3) “By the way,…”:
“…I have a field trip today and need to be there early—in ten minutes, in fact.”
“…(said at 8 pm) tomorrow I have a soccer game at 8 am at the Grand Canyon (1 ½ hours away), because, (by the way) I signed up for the soccer team at school!”
“…I have a golf tournament on Friday…and on Saturday…and Tuesday (this is my husband, and this is constant).”
“…I promised I’d bring a homemade dessert to the church activity tonight (one hour before), so what are you making?”
“…I’m over you!” (Sent by my 9 year-old daughter via note when I told her we really might not be getting a dog–See the actual note in the image, above, left).
4) “Sorry, Mom…”:
“…We didn’t mean to; we just thought it would be fun!” (To dismantle the new pink chandelier I installed above her bed, into literally 
dozens of tiny pink pieces with her friend–proof is in the image, right).
“…We just wanted to look pretty!” (So we smashed your makeup and dumped it all over the floor to do so).
“…I just thought it would be cool to have my name in tape on the wall!” (and color it with a permanent black marker, thus smearing marker all over the walls).
“…but I just went to the neighbor’s house to see if I could pet their dogs!” (Said the 4 year-old, when her older brothers were supposed to have been babysitting, about the scary neighbors we don’t even know).
“…I told [brother x] to watch her!” (to which [Brother x] replies:) “I told her not to go, so I didn’t think she would!” (Unsaid: “…While we both played video games downstairs!”).
5) And, of course, there are the plethora of ways in which my kids interfere with precious sleep:
“I just wanted to finish the movie, mom (so I was 1 hour late for curfew, thus making you wait up, wondering where I was).”
“My covers are all out of order, Mom (whispered the 4 year-old at 3:30 am, three times this week so far).”
“’Whoops!’ ‘Sorry, mom!’ We forgot you were trying to sleep!” (Said the boys playing nerf basketball just below my room at 11 pm).
“Oh, ‘sorry, mom.’ I wasn’t that close to your room, so I didn’t know it would bother you.” (Said the boy playing the drums when I’d just begged everyone to please help me get a nap!)
Whew!…I feel better now.
I don’t care what anybody says–“More kids=More trouble.” And, with 6, I am hopelessly outnumbered. So, thank you for letting me have my little “vent”–it really does help to get it off my chest. It helps me feel like, perhaps, I’m not the only parent in the world whose children can push them sometimes. Also, when I vent it all out, especially in writing, like I just did, I can once again see the truth:
1) That these are all little issues–certainly nothing to jump off a cliff about! And…
2) That no one can really “drive me crazy”.
Sure, life is hectic and frantic, and too-often, chaotic. But, that’s just the name of the game when we parents are trying to raise kids who care, when we want the best for them and are trying to teach them to be the best they can be. Yes, it is our choice to let them get to us! And when I vent all my complaints out, I start to see just how much I let these “little” things get to me. I let the “craziness” of parenting drive me crazy far too often. Instead, I need to remember that I am in the driver’s seat of my mental well-being. I choose to let the crazy in or not.
Driving Back to Sane
So, today I’m choosing to take back the wheel and implement the following 10 ideas to drive me back to sane. (If you’re feeling near the “crazy cliff” with your kids too, give these a try, and add to or alter them as needed!):
1) Breathe more deeply and more often.
2) Laugh more.
3) Nap more.
4) Let things go more.
5) Make Mr. Golf (my husband) take over so I can get a break.
6) Take more baths with the jets going (so I can’t even hear what’s going on outside).
7) Call a friend and “vent” or write out my frustrations, just like I did here (thanks for listening–it really does help).
8) Remember that they are children—it’s their job to mess up and it’s my job to love them as they learn to clean up the messes (and believe me—I make them clean up!) (Maybe I should write this one down and put it on my bathroom mirror?).
9) Pray for strength, energy, patience, and greater love for each child. Then…
10) Love them. And love myself while I’m at it.
I love my kids, really I do. But if I’m not careful, I can let the challenges of parenting prevent me from loving myself. And self-love is something every parent needs a little more of. For, when I love myself, I have more love to give–I am more patient, understanding, and can see just how “little” the little things really are. When I love myself, I teach my children to love themselves and others. Then I can let their love for me into my crazy little heart, and watch my heart soften. Yes, love is the key to driving away from the cliffs and right on back to a happy, loving (and sane) home.
I want to know: Am I the only one whose kids drive me crazy? It’s tough to admit, but oddly, it’s very freeing. Let me know about your “cliffs” and how you avoid them! How do you drive yourself back to sane? We parents need all the advice and support we can get, so leave a comment!
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Oh Christi just jump off the cliff. I think everyone will understand 🙂 I had a mom that yelled A LOT and overreacted to everything and I was afraid of her. I didn’t want that for my kids so I just don’t react to the little things. To help me do that I look for the humor in whatever is happening. I don’t let my kids know that because I don’t want them to think that doing naughty things is funny to mom. Like the other day right before we were supposed to take the kids to school my 7 year old locked his 11 year old brother in his room. Normally this is not a big deal since it’s super easy to unlock the door and get out, but apparently my 11 year old had to pee so bad that instead of looking for something to unlock the door he ran around in circles until he couldn’t hold it anymore. Then he stood banging at the door while he wet himself. I thought this was pretty funny, but I needed to show compassion to my 11 year old and I needed to punish that naughty 7 year old. Seeing the humor just keeps me from wanting to jump off that cliff, and I do have some cliffs. Do your homework, clean your rooms, and for the love please do not yell or make loud noises!
Thank you, Julie. It’s great to hear your wise tips for steering clear of cliffs. Humor is a wonderful tool, I agree. Now, if I could only remember to use it more often!;) And you’re right–it’s sometimes hard to keep the straight face when we need to teach our kids a lesson but are overcome with the lightness and humor of it all. I think it’s a good thing, though–it teaches them not to take themselves too seriously either. You’re a wonderful example and I appreciate your words!
My goodness, Christina! I am so thankful you came to visit my blog and made contact with me. I have in turn been reading about your experience and I am spellbound by all you have gone through and achieved. You are an inspiration! Thanks so much again and I am very much looking forward to keeping in contact. xx
Welcome to my site! Thanks so much for reading my posts and especially for your very kind comment. I am glad we have connected too and look forward to continued learning from one another! xoxo
Ok so fortunately this gave me insight to the fact yhat I am not alone in this and my children are not going to turn out sloppy, hoarding, lazy adults. Unfortunately what drove to this instaneous sought for refuge, was that in the time it took for me to have a 20 minute phone call with my best friend, my 4 children managed to disregard cleaning their zones, and add to the mess. I walked downstairsto check their zones, which I might add, they have complete and detailed instructions for, to meet my 11 year old explaining how my 9 year old did it all. Did what, you ask? They mixed the soil from my herb garden with water and had a mud fight…. harmless right? ….. IN MY HOUSE!!! Thers is mud on my windows, trailing from my carpet in my sunroom through the dining room into the bathroom, where they all had decided to leave their clothes on the floor. My 6 year old had apparently joined, by thowing mud all ove my 2 year old. I was so upset that I really could say nothing, came upstairs in the corner, wanting to cry, but not shhedding a tear and googled. So now that I am calm I will be heading back down now, because there is no way in heck am going to allow them to think this is ok. Looks like they have some cleaning to do….. sigh I feel better now. Tahnx
Oh. My. Goodness. My mouth was literally hanging open as I read about your day! That is definitely worst case scenario! It sounds, however, like you handled it brilliantly, and I’m so glad this post was in some way helpful. They sure can drive us crazy, can’t they? But we sure do love them, crazy as they may be, don’t we? Thanks so much for sharing your craziness with us! Like you said, it helps us all feel like we’re not alone. Best to you!!
OMG! Yes! Yes! I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have 5 children (alone) as me and their Father/my Ex husband are divorced.
Crazy doesn’t come close.
Mom- We thought shaking the lemonade would help the bubbles settle before we opened it. Sorry.
Mom- You know your new dress? Well we kinda played tug O war with the dog. And your dress was the tug toy. We only realised when big sis said OMG, Mom is going to kill you. Sorry.
Mom- We only took the handbrake off for a moment while you were chatting. Sorry.
Me- Go to bed- go to bed- go to bed- go back to bed- go to bed!!!!!!!!!!
Me- Get up! Get up! Get your shoes/socks/ on… A thousand times.
My brain is going to explode. 🙁
Oh, I feel your pain! And to be tackling all the craziness on your own, with 5 of them? Well, you deserve an award. Or at least a massage. I especially relate to the “Go to bed!” and the “Get up!” We hear that a lot around here too. All I can say is you are not alone. And I’m so glad you shared some of this here so hopefully your brain won’t explode. I’ll be praying for you to get a break soon!! xoxo
bookmarked!!, I love үouг site!
Thank you so much!!
Hi Christina,
It’s so funny that you wrote this almost 2 years ago and it is still helping people today, some of whom I’m sure did not and will not comment. But I had to comment. It is so refreshing to know that we’re not alone in this parenting thing. Today, I was just at my wits end. And honestly, what happened wasn’t even a big deal. It’s just one of those things where you just get tired of the monotony. I had been sitting in the car rider line in 90 degree weather for an hour at this point. Finally it’s time for dismissal and one of the teachers comes over and says those words no parent wants to hear….”Jasmyn had an accident”. So of course my heart sinks momentarily until she continues to say she wet herself while standing in line waiting. (Sigh) as I am now very relieved it was just that. Then I felt sad because I know she was so embarrassed. Then, after she comes running to the car seemingly unbothered, I asked if she was ok, and at this point is now giggling with her twin sister in the back seat, I felt annoyed. I thought, how many times have we had these conversations about not waiting until the last minute to go to the restroom? So I ask, “How many times have you been to the bathroom today?” Jasmyn replies, “None.” “Jordyn, how many times have you been?” Jordyn replies, “None.” Then I say, “And I bet the bathroom is right outside your classroom, right?” They respond in unison, “It’s IN our classroom.”
Ha! Tiffany, that is such a perfect example of how brain-wracking parenting can be. We feel for our kids so deeply and want the best for them, and then there they are not using the restrooms at school! As I always say, I shake my head a lot as a parent, wondering what on earth my kids were thinking! And yes, even though I wrote this 2 years ago, it still applies to me today. My kids may be older. I have 4 teenaged sons and just sent my oldest off to college, in fact! (and two little girls) I’m still shaking my head and taking deep breaths–probably more now than ever, with so many teenagers. It’s just hard, and you’re right–it’s good to know we are in good company and that we’re all just trying to survive and grow through parenting. Hugs to you!
I felt like crying and was pretty close before I decided to google, “my eight-year-old son is driving me crazy” and came across this post. Usually I would pray, but my thoughts were too foul for more than, “Lord, I don’t know how much more of this I can take!” It’s the homework treadmill and bedtime resistance day after day with no end in sight with my second-grader while my 7th-grader falls further and further behind because, “It only counts for 20% of my grade. I don’t HAVE to to do it,” he protests. Then he fails the exam which counts for 80% and despairs over his inability to perform, exclaiming, “you just don’t understand how hard it is. You didn’t have to do this when you were my age.” I used my class time wisely at his age, but I’m at a loss for how to answer the second part…that his math is what I was doing in 9th and 10th grade! Meanwhile, 8 yo is trying to use the living room as a jungle gym, making every noise he can think of to disturb any train of thought and seems to care nothing for the consequences of refusing to do his own math. He had half an hour of “down time” after school, then ate an egg and an apple, but 2.5 hours after beginning homework, he has probably remained focused for a total 10 minutes and is only half done or less, and it’s time for supper. Help! I want off and I’m not finding any of this humorous.
Just have barely managed to put my 3 year old and 5 year old to bed,my work it’s just beginning,even though it’s only 8 :30 ,still tons of ironing to do,clean up kitchen,dishes,make lunch for my sleeping beauty of a husband and so on.He just can’t understand how the house is not immaculate,even though I am home all day,the little one is 24/7 with me as I cannot afford daycare,mornings are a nightmare as I have to get them both ready to take my son to school …
We are not originally from us and have no help with kids,I cannot even have an hour for myself as my husband is usually too tired to deal with them.
It is 24/7 and exhausting…
Totally hear what you are saying and totally needed to hear it right now. My oldest (of 4) is a new-ish teen and has been pushing all the wrong buttons for the last 24 hours. I was driven to a liquid lunch, which did help me relax :)! Thanks for putting it into perspective when I need a kick in the keister. I’ve heard all those comments and been through lots of those experiences you listed. I made me laugh (the liquid lunch his helping too 🙂 ), which is a good thing. I wasn’t having luck getting out of the goo on my own. Happy new year!
I’m still learning from you, as I’m improving myself.
I absolutely love reading all that is written on your site.Keep the
stories coming. I loved it!